Something more….

Just an uncontrollable sadness
Yearning for something more
Of what, I am not sure.
Days go by in a haze
Convincing myself of my happiness
But the truth is
I have spent my days in an emotionless daze.
Love, life, happiness, laughter
All emotions I am not quite acquainted with yet
Try as I may, I cant seem to get
Am I stuck in a cycle of sadness
Wanting more where I can get none?
Voices around me settling to a dull roar
Feeling alone in a world full of people
Trying to escape to oblivion
I am just a nobody
Looking for something more
Just a little bit more….

Loneliness

Deep breaths and long sighs
Lonely nights and sad smiles
Wispy tendrils of lonely clouds
In the clear night sky, floating by
Empty rooms and empty hearts
Empty shadows like a work of art
Broken hearts and broken sobs
Teary eyes with hollow lies
Meaningless days preying on sanity
Sleepless nights calling for insanity

Morals and Religion

This was something I wrote after the Peshawar school shooting because I had to put down in words what I was feeling. Such cruelty was, and still is, unfathomable to me. I was in shock and just couldn’t comprehend why it had to be children.

“As today’s events unfolded,everyone sat glued to their phones, laptops or television sets. A whole nation trying to comprehend, where had they gone wrong? When is it going to stop?

Yet again the people of this country went through a thorough beating, ending up battered and bruised only to pick themselves up again and go about their lives hiding their wounds and scars.

Everyone is taught that no matter what religion, your faith in it, is what teaches you about the sense of right and wrong, gives you the sense of right and wrong and keeps you away from sinning. But the more you think of it, the more the lines blur. What is morally right and what is religiously wrong? Is faith their biggest sin? By purging the world of every wrong existence do we want to create a world full of the pure and righteous, or just murderers?

When did it become okay to casually and carelessly take human lives without any remorse? To cause unnecessary pain and create unnecessary human loss? Have we, as humans, become numb and indifferent to the idea of bloodshed and the loss of human lives?

These were just innocent children trying to make a better future for this country and what did they get in return? Death in the name of God? I am sure even God is horrified at what has been done in his name.

I am horrified by the indifference and complete acceptance of evil as part of everyone’s lives. To have lost hundreds of lives in one go and only express the required sympathy and move on with our own lives. Has the human race become this selfish? We are supposed to learn from human history but it seems all it has taught us is to be even more cruel to our own kind.

Our aim to wipe away everyone and everything that is different to us and the deep rooted belief that our faith and ideas are the only true ones will be the downfall of all of human race. “

Moments – I

She was wrapped around him, their hands and feet tangled in a complex weave. The distant sound of chirping birds overshadowed by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. She shifted her head and watched him sleep. His face a canvas of peace, serenity and innocence, his imperfections being her idea of perfection. She traced a path lightly down his face and lips with her fingertips and vaguely thought she had to be all kinds of lucky, to be lying here right next to him. A small smile played around her lips, a smile only a person to have experienced that sort of love would ever understand.

Spreading Some Love

Just recently I watched an Indian movie by the name of Bhag Milka Bhag and from what I hear it has been banned in Pakistan for showing negativity against Pakistan. Now what I think is it should be shown in our country because it teaches us what we have ceased to listen to for so long. Tolerance against everyone different, however different they are.

I keep repeating this but we as Pakistanis have become very intolerant and judgy. We come to conclusions quickly about people different from us and that hatred goes through generations of our family handed down like genes. We have no right to judge someone for their cast, religion and sexual orientation. We tend to overlook the fact that we have flaws too, nobody is perfect. We never stop to think before committing crimes  in the name of religion, both physically and verbally.

Case in point is the targeting of minorities in Pakistan. I don’t know what kind of Pakistan these people want to have but it certainly wasn’t created to be this way. Just like it’s hard to believe that we had a thriving Jew community in Pakistan there soon will be time when we will be telling our kids or grandkids about how Pakistan had a thriving Shia, Christian, Parsi or Ahmadi community. Pakistan is losing one of its best assets yet, the melting pot of cultures. That’s what makes Pakistan because every province has its distinct culture and even religions but it’s being wiped away due to our intolerance for differences.

In Pakistani history books they always teach us about how during the partition and even pre partition Muslims were tortured and killed and discriminated against which led to us Muslims as a minority to make our own country and have freedom. Why can’t we extend the same courtesy to the minorities today? Why can’t we live and let live. We are taught about the bloody crimes that were done against people travelling to Pakistan during the partition in 1947 but forget to mention the crimes done by us to those travelling to India or during the 1971 war which led to the independence of East Pakistan as a separate country called Bangladesh? If one delves further into these incidents and stories, they are bloody and gruesome and not much better than what we accuse the Indians or the Bengalis of doing to us.

Crimes against women and gender discrimination is the most common issue we have been facing ever since the reinforcement of Pakistan as an Islamic state by our very own Zia Ul Haq. From what I have read and heard he basically set the stage for making every crime legal in the name of religion and sending us into dark ages from which we just might never recover. As a female in Pakistan despite of enjoying all the benefits of being a female we tend to be subjected to gender discrimination and not to mention treated as lowly species because religion states so. Our women in the rural areas  of Pakistan and FATA are mistreated and cases like Karo Kari and throwing acid on a woman to protect the family’s izat are very common. Women are paraded naked around the village just because they refused a marriage proposal or being raped to take revenge on the family and nothing is being done about it. Women here are mistreated by those who are supposed to protect them which saddens me to no end.

Then there are those who are just very different than us. They are normal human beings despite everything but we tend to overlook that in our haste to hate them. Those people are taunted and criticized and most of the time we don’t even know these people. I recently saw a video of a man being beaten to death for eating in public during Ramazan. Now did anyone stop to think why he wasn’t fasting before beating him up? He kept on repeating that he was sick and needed food and couldn’t fast because of it but our so called pseudo mulas had turned a deaf ear. Why can’t we as humans respect other people’s choices and live in harmony? A person can be an atheist or a homosexual but those are his choices and for all I know it’s none of our business to meddle is someone else’s affairs and teach them how to live or behave and what to believe in.

This might be the most haphazard post to read because I have had these thoughts for so long that it needed to come out and it did. All I see nowadays is cruelty towards people with differences and injustice and intolerance for those who don’t see it as we do. Life is too short for all the hatred and prejudices. Lets learn to love again and be more tolerant as a nation. 

Moments

Moments

Random remembered moments. — Typed out by Typewriter

Sounds

Sounds fascinate me. The gentle lapping of waves, sound of wood crackling due to a bonfire on a cold winter night, click clack of heels on a polished wooden floor, sound of the man beating his cans while walking down an empty street. All these sounds have a story to tell, always.

Lives

Yesterday I heard the saddening news about my friend’s father‘s death. He was shot to death while going back home from work. It got me to think about how cheap human lives have become. People get killed like it’s no big deal, taking their lives away in a matter of seconds like they don’t matter at all.

One can’t even start to imagine how it feels to lose a person so close and dear to you. One can sympathize or try to empathize but to lose someone like this is hard to imagine.  But those basic human emotions of feeling for human lives have become nonexistent, or maybe numb. People die every day, but it’s not your friend, husband, wife, sister, brother or parents. People live either ignorant lives or look the other way to all the pain, death and destruction.

It’s when someone you know dies, is when the reality hits you— they mattered. They meant something to someone and then you think about how a life has gotten so cheap that it can be taken away any second without remorse.  One can only wonder where and how the humanity got lost in the plethora of hatred and indifference.

2012, You Will Be Rembered Fondly

Try as I may I can’t sum up the year 2012 for me in words. I have tried to sit down and write a lot of times and ended up backspacing it all. This has been a good year. Love, life, friends, laughter, music, literature and those random bouts of photography all of it happened this year. I grew up a little more than any of the previous years.

2012 has its share of good and bad experiences with good being more than the bad ones. I started writing again is much more of an achievement this year than anything else. It was an intense rollercoaster ride of self discovery and figuring me out. Also the people I was surrounded with and the people I reconnected to had a great impact on me. I finally realized where I belonged.

Got to spend time with my husband twice and a constant reminder of how much I miss him when he is not here with me. I found the people who keep me sane with Taha being one of them.  Life has been great, so great that I had a hard time believing it was all true.

2012 was an unforgettable year and I don’t think I would want to go back and change anything at all. Not even the bad experiences and the most embarrassing moments. I just hope 2013 has much more to offer in terms of personal and social growth and much more of music, laughter, literature, good and enlightening experiences and awesome people to connect to.

BRILLIANT as this is.

Ramish Safa Mobin

Image

In an intellectually redundant part of the world, was an irrelevant neighborhood, where once lived a man known as Basheer. Basheer was quiet, slow and honest. He never bothered the pesky little neighborhood children, nor the pesky little neighborhood men. He never bothered the pesky little neighborhood women either, or any woman for that matter, which is why the general opinion of Basheer was that of an effeminate. In short, he was peaceful, boring and harmless. What the people didn’t know was that Basheer was indifferent. Not the kind of indifferent you and I are towards a particular brand of toothpaste or a movie that’s playing at a local cinema or a parent perhaps. No. Basheer’s problem was worse, probably the worst the world had ever seen. He just didn’t care. He didn’t care if he had parents, or if his hair needed to be cut. He didn’t care about…

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