Mixed Emotions – I

She seems to have a problem breathing when she thinks back to that day. It seems as if her heart will sink and she will be lost to the blissful oblivion of not having to hold on to reality.

———

“I am being ridiculous.” She thought while wiping away her tears. She looked at herself in the mirror and an involuntary smile of sadness came upon her face. Her face was red and swollen and a complete mess.

“How in the world did I lose control like this? I barely know him, I had set my eyes upon him just half an hour ago. How can I be this messed up?” She thought to herself and shook her head partially in disbelief and partially to clear her head. She splashed her face with water and closed her eyes and gathered herself back together. When she opened her eyes, her normal, sane self was back. She plastered a smile on her face and opened the door to step out and face the world once again.

As she walked down the corridor she kept her face down towards the floor, her mind in a confused mixture of thoughts and feelings. She glanced up involuntarily and froze. He was walking down the opposite end of the corridor towards her. At that instance he looked up and his eyes met hers. She forgot to breathe. As he passed by he offered her a smile, his eyes twinkling as he smiled.

Her entire system shut down in daze and helplessness. She kept her eyes on him watching his retreating back. Suddenly she remembered to breath and swallowed painfully. She realized she was holding on to her laptop a little too tightly and her lower lip hurting from all that unconscious biting from nervousness.

“Why is he affecting me this way?” She realized she wanted to know him. It was more of a need rather than a want but she didn’t know how to stop her speechlessness when he was around. He intimidated her, she forgot to breathe when he would look at her. How in the world was she supposed to go up to him and get to know him?

[to be continued]

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